In this week's Calibration & Imaging 2016 workshop here in Socorro, I learned about all the fascinating algorithmic and implementation approaches being explored across the community. It seems to me everyone is pushing the same problems up the hill over and over, so with today's call for ALMA Development projects I propose the Synthetic Imaging for Synthesis Imaging Pipeline Hierarchical Universal Software (SISIPHUS) to bring together all the approaches I have heard in the meeting. SISIPHUS uses a state-of-the-art compressed sensing Bayesian adaptive Hermitian conjugate sparse spherical holographic wavelet-inspired dictionary basis domain optimized distributed workflow engine operating in the Cloud to provide highly efficient production of all possible data products that project promise to "users" (funding agencies and proposal reviewers, astronomers don't count). It can do this because all relevant data objects, including astronomical datasets, observing proposals, software documentation, and journal articles can be decomposed into a small number of "dictionary" objects or imageless if you can discover the proper basis. The SISIPHUS breakthrough was the realization of the Universal Astronomical Dictionary (patent pending) consisting of the 11 component 'words': Astronomical Objects: F : FRII - radio galaxy Cyg A representing most interesting extragalactic sources * : star - most things look like stars / point sources G : Gaussian - duh C : cloud - for woofly star forming regions and irregular galaxies, and data processing D : disk - for HLTau like objects J : jet - straight and with helical twists Serendipitous and Anomolous Objects: U : Unicorn - find a Unicorn in your image! its the rarest S : Spock - logical information in its purest form T : Triceratops - at Mpc distances there could be space dinosaurs Outreach and Administration Objects: E : Emoji - for easy tweeting of results V : Vader - project management you can't argue with L : Leprechaun - optimal funding source With these 11 simple things you can represent all of astronomical data and even science literature of any kind! All the images shown at this workshop are spanned by the 6 astronomical words. But there's more! For example, SISIPHUS reduces the latest issue of Nature to 256 words, confirming the long-held hypothesis that the highest impact journal is just the equivalent of a 8-bit game app. Likewise, all NRAO management documents reduce to around 3 words. EVLCorp is looking for investors and programmers to develop the funding concept and to implement this revolutionary technology. So come to the Bodega for the full sales pitch and recruitment meeting.